Rules for guys on dating
Every guy has a set of core values for who he is, what he stands for, and what he really wants out of life.
Sometimes in a relationship, a guy will really, really love a girl and may start to compromise these core values.
I’ve heard things like “When a guy’s relationship ends, he replaces her.
When a woman’s relationship ends, she mourns,” or “He’s just hooking up with such-and-such to spite the ex-girlfriend,” or “Guys just don’t care” and other nonsense.
Move on immediately, you’ll save yourself a whole lot of time and heartache.” MORE: Ask a Guy: How Can I Avoid Being the Rebound?
A guy once told me that, “A man is devastated at the end of a relationship to the extent to which he sold himself out.” What does it mean for a guy to sell himself out (in the context of a relationship)?
For people that haven’t yet fully realized that all of us need to be emotionally responsible (which is most people), this is where much of the pain of the breakup originates from (they blame themselves for not “measuring up”…
and therefore sets countless impossible expectations into motion.
In the case where you dumped the guy, one common reason is that the guy doesn’t want to be alone, he doesn’t want to deal with his grief over the breakup and he doesn’t want to “deal with himself.” When he jumps into another relationship, he can get a dose of external female validation and derive a feeling of false sense of self-esteem and self-worth from her positive attention.
It has its cost though and eventually devolves into a crippling neediness.
I realize it probably came off jerky, but when I cut off communication, my heart is in the right place.
(Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a monster, I won’t completely cut a girl off, but I definitely won’t discuss anything along a relationship conversational thread.) This could be for a few reasons.
I don’t think it’s that guys don’t want to deal with the breakup…